You Are Ignorant

Prologue

Please: increase the volume of my songs so that it is louder—much, much louder. You do not understand the acts which you are performing. (Yes, I do!)

Where I’m From

I am from a failed neighbourhood, such that the neighbourhood could, figuratively speaking, swallow a man; and the indiscriminate shooting of guns happens with some frequency; and there is a lot of cocaine; in fact, there is so much cocaine in my neighbourhood that you could probably make it into a pile and ski on it, as though it were snow!

The police are always paying close attention to where I live; and my friends and I like to pretend that the police say that people who live near me are likely to behave in violent ways. However—as bad as it sounds—this is, nevertheless, my neighbourhood, where various types of people have sundry conflicts with each other, and in which cars often crash into each other, and blades strike other blades.

The cocaine prices in my neighbourhood tend to fluctuate a lot, as though they were as stocks, traded on the New York Stock Exchange. However, it is much worse than the stock market, if you think about it. Here, you can easily have your head removed with a gun. You need only make one mistake, and you may very well be killed! Welcome to a place very much like the underworld: a place in which you are welcome to sell drugs, but also a place in which—when someone shoots you—you had better shoot them back.

What We’re Like

Most of us have several scars on our bodies; but at least all of our scars were earned honestly. We also recognise most types of horseless carriages, and we can distinguish one kind from another. We keep a watchful eye for police officers, in case they may be about to exit from a police van. I often wear a large letter “G” in the form of a medallion, which I hang around my neck. I do not need a medallion like that; but you should keep in mind, too, that these are not store-bought sets of clothes that I wear....

Before I became well-known, I admired other famous people; but when you are wasting your time listening to my music, you will never become a success. I am sometimes known by the nickname “Jehovah.” I will now tell you a big difference between me and those who do not succeed: they are trying to earn only a few dollars, whilst I am earning millions upon millions of dollars.

Plus d’Argent, Plus de Problèmes

First, I had a million dollars; then, I had two million, three million, and, finally, I had four million dollars. In just five short years, I then made another forty million dollars! You are reading the words of someone who made forty million dollars, and who is a representative of Definitive Music Recordings, and who will continue to make money and be a representative of Definitive Music Recordings, until he has amassed one hundred million dollars. When I started out, I only had one hundred thousand dollars; but then again, I could make forty dollars with only a brick. If someone had suggested that I would one day sell shirts, I would have laughed at him. However, I am, in fact, smart enough to figure out anything.

I know I may already have pointed this out, but hear me out: first, I had a million dollars; then, I had two million, three million, and, finally, I had four million dollars. After a year and a half, I had eighty million dollars. Now, add eighty million to the forty million which I had mentioned earlier; if you think about it, I am an awfully darned smart American male of African descent. I would argue that this is, largely speaking, owing to my mother having not raised me to be ignorant.

If you were to put me anywhere on this planet which God made, I would able to take my talent and turn it into three talents, just like in the Bible. I am incapable of losing. I could sell ice to people even if it were very cold outside; I could sell fire to people even if it were very hot outside. I would even be able to sell water to a well, assuming only that a well were a person, with a conscious mind.

Epilogue

I was born to eat sweet foods, and also to move from one state to another. I have a two-door sporty car—which has no roof—and which has illegal license plates; I am better at telling people what to do rather than to follow someone’s orders, you stupid fool! Thus, you had better begin to realise the truth of all which I say. I call myself “Big Shawn,” and I will never lose at any of the games which I choose to play.

And you are ignorant.

Further Reading & Listening

• Lyrics: Jay-Z. “U Don’t Know.” The Blueprint, Roc-A-Fella Records, 2001.
• Recording: Jay-Z. “U Don’t Know.” The Blueprint, Roc-A-Fella Records, 2001.
• Film: Hess, Jared, director. Napoleon Dynamite. Fox Searchlight Pictures, 2004
• Recording: The Notorious B.I.G., feat. Puff Daddy & Mase. “Mo Money Mo Problems.” Life After Death, Bad Boy Records, 1997.